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BERLUSCONI JOKES

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BEELZEBUB
Silvio Berlusconi a day dies of a sudden heart attack and ends of yarn to 'hell where Beelzebub is waiting.
"I do not know what to do," begins the Devil, "You're on my list but I have no more place for you. But on the other hand must necessarily be here."
After thinking it over, the Devil continues, "You know what I do? I have two or three people who were not so bad as you let it go and you take a place ... in fact, because today you are in a good mood leave even choose which to leave. "
A Silvio proposal seems acceptable, and so Beelzebub opens the first door.
There, a large swimming pool, swimming Craxi who plunges repeatedly trying to bring out an immense treasure and flamboyant, but always emerging bleakly empty-handed. It dives and resurfaces and again and again. This is his fate in hell.
"No," says Knight, "we did not, I'm not a great swimmer and always empty-handed then I can not stay, I could not do this for eternity."
Beelzebub then leads into the next room where there are Francesco Cossiga and with a huge ax to grind huge masses of rock hard ... and then high, and more.
"No," says Berlusca "you know I have a shoulder problem, I'd be too bad picconare continuously for eternity."
Beelzebub then opens the third door. All 'internal, the former U.S. president Bill Clinton, lying on
floor with his arms behind his head and legs apart, leaning over him in the Monica Lewinsky intent 'now famous work.
Berlusconi looks incredulous and says immediately: "Yes, you can do, go for it."
"OK," says the Devil, "Monica, you can go.
 
BERLUSCONI AND THE POPE
Berlusconi and the Pope are walking along a river when the Pope, the Bible falls into the water. Berlusconi is close to water and walking on the surface without sinking, retrieves it. The day after the United 'headline: "Berlusconi can not swim."
 
 
BERLUSCONI – BUSH AND PUTIN
God summons Berlusconi, Bush and Putin and told him to honor it must be built by the people governed by them at least 1 km high tower in one week using only stones and not bricks would otherwise have unleashed their wrath, destroying everything. The three return to their respective countries and give the ad.
Putin: "I have two news, one good and one bad, the good, 'that I have returned safe and sound, and the bad' that we build a tower 1 km in a week using only stones, but we are a people accustomed to hard work and we can complete this arduous undertaking. "
Bush: "I have two news, one good and one bad, the good, 'that I have returned safe and sound, and the bad' that we build a tower 1 km in a week using only stones, but we are able to overcome all adversity 'and together we will show the world how strong they are Americans. "
Berlusconi: "I have two news, one good and one excellent, good, and 'that I have returned safe and sound, and the excellent' I found a million jobs'
 
 
PIMPLES
Berlusconi wakes up one morning and go to the bathroom to shave: horror sees his face covered with huge, festering pimples.
 In desperation, seeking a doctor who can cure him. After many failures is a doctor who says he has a cure infallible, but very dramatic.
Berlusconi says willing to carefully.
The doctor says: Before dinner, take this pill yellow. Before bedtime take this red pill. Just sprinkle the face is lifted
with their droppings. After a couple of hours and wash pimples will disappear!
After a brief but intense argument, Berlusconi takes care.
Adheres strictly to all regulations and after a couple of hours is thoroughly washed. Miracle, all the pimples are gone!
Berlusconi calls to the doctor and asked him to thank him for explanations of strange care.
The doctor says:
The yellow pill is a cleansing of blood and the red pill and laxative effects exudative.
But the shit on your face, what effect? - Calls Berlusconi.
No therapeutic effect - says the doctor - that's for my personal satisfaction

 
 
 
 
COLLECTION
In the dream, God appeared to Knight. They knew him because the Lord was exactly as depicted, with tunicone and long white beard.
 "I came to see you," said God, "to make you understand how your inordinate ambition, your endless thirst for power are absolutely ridiculous. Even if you win the whole universe, there will remain nothing. The universe, my son , is over. "
'In what way? "Wonder' Knight.
"Now you explain it," said God "Imagine that I own a collection of thousands of bottles of champagne. I've uncorked one, and what you call the big bang was just the sound of the cap to jump, I filled a glass, and now I am going to drink it. The stars that astronomers see your birth and death are simply the bubbles formed and burst. And you're in that glass and that glass is your universe. But as soon as I drank my champagne , your universe will disappear.
Do you understand "" Perfectly, "said Knight." And how much would it cost your collection? ".
 
 
PRESS POLYGRAPH STATE 
We have received complaints from some citizens for the malfunctioning of the new stamp 12:41 Euro, delivered
February 10, 2002; Remember that attack on a postcard, should not spit in the face and back ...
 
 
TIPS FOR BUYING
The snowman that crazy Italians now in many new versions!
After "Berlusconi worker," incoming "Berlusconi Explorer" and "Babysitter"!
With your "Silvio Berlusconi" the wonders never cease!
The famous dwarf of TV, launched in the eighties in the classic versions Craxi's Best Friend "and" P2 ", and renovated in the nineties as leader of Forza Italy" and "Super Investigated," arrives in stores with a new set of look surprising.
The more original?
"Berlusconi Worker," to live with your favorite hero, the rough emotions of the assembly and the night shift.
You go with the factory gates, crush it by police during the demonstrations, expose the worst diseases with garlic salary and dismissal. Endless fun, thanks to the many accessories included in the package:
the elegant blue suit, ideal for jogging and department, which turns into a pinstripe dell'Upim for important occasions, a wrench, a pension reduced to pleasure, to be shown in a banner parade and a first aid kit for the first medication.
But it is not over! By spring 2001, from your toymaker, will also find the fantastic "Berlusconi Ranger, ready to plunge into the wildest places to build bridges and highways doublings (bribes to local administrators sold separately).
The charming "Berlusconi Babysitter" cradle you with his wonderful stories (included a disc containing 15 classic fairy tales from the election campaign, from "A good job for you" to "More respect for the environment").
And in May, do not miss the highlight of the collection, the "Premier Berlusconi, updated and improved version of the similar product in 1994 (withdrawn from the market because the lost pieces and falls apart after a few months). Always tanned, smiling, with her magic hair is thickening as we approach the elections, "Berlusconi" is the friend who never lets you: thanks to its small size it is everywhere, in a backpack, at Palazzo Chigi, and especially on balls! And for even more fun with your "Berlusconi", ask your dealer the compelling characters of the line "House of Freedoms":
"Finish the black friend"
"Casini, the sporty boyfriend"
Bossi irresistible trained orangutan!
WARNINGS. For the realization of Toys "Berlusconi" surveys were not performed on animals. Warning: contains small parts.
Lick my butt can cause allergic reactions, necrosis lingual direction of a Tg Mediaset. Not suitable for children under three years and above the five Communists.
Do not swallow.
Do not subject face to face with Francesco Rutelli.
Do not dump.
Do not deliver to the judges.

 
 
 
INTERNATIONAL CRISES
After the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers
 Washington A.D. - Oct. 3 - 11:00 GMT
During the cabinet meeting of the American war were considered the main options on the upcoming war.
The Secretary of State Colin Powell, has reconstructed the last two weeks.
A mad millionaire has decided to launch a war, has provided a considerable amount of money available to it at will as
deposited in offshore countries.
Check newspapers and television networks absolutely faithful to the cause.
At least an entire nation is controlled directly.
Has a host of FAITH who idolize them the image without understanding what it says.
Has some fixed ideas about which returns with obsession.
Has a proven ability to escape justice.
The meeting was abruptly adjourned a few minutes ago.
Credited a source claims that President George Bush has gone screaming:
- Are you crazy, I can not bombard Arcore 

 
 
 
GOOD VICE PRESIDENT
Berlusconi dies and goes to hell. Since the environment and 'dark and sad turns smiling to Lucifer:
"Look, but you could do a 'light and happiness in here?".
"Okay! Berlusconi Since you are, think about you." Berlusconi brings here and then 'the colored lights and a cheerful piece of music. The Devil delighted to award sends him to purgatory.
Here Berlusconi meets Judas: "Judas Hello! A bit 'soft environment here, eh? It would take two Lucette and some piece of music." Judah after recognizing him: "So why 'do not think about you?". So 'Berlusconi Purgatory turns into a beautiful place, and Judah award sends him to heaven.
Berlusconi meets here St. Peter: "Hey, St. Peter, I talk to God." "With God? Who are you? ... Aahhh six Berlusconi ... okay go ...". Berlusconi entered in the study of God and remains there for more 'than an hour. St. Peter looks worried and see a great gleam of light and all of a restless dancers. God sees into a corner with one arm on the shoulders of Berlusconi that says, 'In' a bit 'Silvio ... but are you really sure that I could do the vice president? " 
 
 
GOOD AND THE POLITICAL
One day, God, extremely concerned about the Italian political situation, call Peter and entrusted him to convene D'Alema and Berlusconi Casini, to tell them that you really annoyed dell'andazzo general and if they decide to give a set, send all shoveling shit in two years. Peter does his duty and convene three.
After the scolding, D'Alema and returns to her grim and sadly tells them: "Comrades, I have two terrible news: the first being that God exists, the second is that if we do not give a rule, in two years we will all be shoveling shit. "
Even Casini, understood the message, calls its air and discharged, reports: "Guys, I have two news, one good and bad: the first is that God exists, the second is that unless things change in two years we will all be shoveling shit. "
Finally Berlusconi.
Organize a mega convention and between tears, hugs and hymns, brandishing a smile to 205 capsules, announced triumphantly:
"Guys, I have two wonderful news to tell. The first is that my brother is fine, the second is that in two years there will be jobs for all."
 
 
DIVINE JUSTICE

When God made the world, because men thrive decided to give each nation two virtues.
 So the Americans made orderly and law-abiding, the Germans and tenacious scholars, the Japanese workers and patients.
Come to the Italians, said to the angel to write in a notebook:
"These are intelligent and honest vote Force Italy.
When finished making the world, the angel called to him and said:
"Holy Father, you gave to all peoples of the world two virtues, but you have given three Italians. This will ensure that they will prevail over all other peoples of the world."
"You are right - said God, - is true. But since they can not be picked up the gifts that God has done we will remedy this situation.
Henceforth, the Italians will keep these three virtues, but that they do not take precedence over other peoples none of them can use more than two of them at once. "
E 'for this reason that, since then, the Italian who vote Force Italy and is honest can not be too smart, that is intelligent and who vote Force Italy can not be too honest, and what is smart and honest can not never vote Force Italy   

 
 
ROMANS
A day goes by Berlusconi's own parish community says:
"Good morning, Mr. Pastor, I confess I"
"Sure son, what is your name?"
"Silvio Berlusconi, father"
"Ah, Chairman of the Board. Listen son, I really think that your case richiedauna expertise than I think it is better that you go to the bishop."
So, Berlusconi has asked the bishop to confess.
"Sure son, what's your name?"
"Silvio Berlusconi"
"The Prime Minister? No my dear, I can not confess because 'you is a difficult case, you'd better go to the Vatican."
Berlusconi goes by the Pope:
"His Holiness want to confess"
"Dear son, what's your name?"
"Silvio Berlusconi"
"Ah, ah, ah, son, your case is very difficult for me. Look, here, on the Vatican, c is a small chapel. Inside you will find a cross Lord you can sentinels.
Berlusconi, who arrived in the chapel, turn to the cross:
"Lord, I come to confess"
"Sure son, what's your name?"
"Silvio Berlusconi, but who:
The Prime Minister
The President of AC Milan
The President of Mediaset
The friend of Craxi
The friend Previti
The friend of Dell'Utri
What sentenced to 28 months in prison for illegal financing to parties and never went to jail because 'the crime is gone in prescription
What with his brother Simpleton that if the quarry due to settlement
What goes to church but 'divorced
With the ongoing processes on bribery, conspiracy, corruption, false accounting? "
"I have always Ehmmm, sir"
"My child, you need not confess, you have only to thank"
"Gratitude? And who?"
"The Romans nailed for me here, otherwise I could get down and get an ass like that!

 
 
 
THE PHOTOGRAPHER
Answer honestly and you can self-evaluate your morals.
You are in Piedmont October 15, 2000 during the flood and the terrible moments that followed.
You are a photographer of 'Bend and six in the middle of the disaster looking for raw images.
Suddenly you see Silvio Berlusconi, who drives a jeep and fight desperately to avoid being carried away by the fury of water and mud.
His companion was already submerged and only you can save or take a photo which would certainly around the world and win the Pulitzer Prize, portraying death of the tycoon.
And here comes the question ... the developments in color or black and white?

 

THE PIG
The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and his driver are crossing a street when suddenly invest a pig
killing him instantly.
The President told his driver "Go to the nearest farm and explains what happened"
An hour later, saw the driver back swinging with a cigar in one hand and a bottle in the other and clothes all wrinkled.
"What happened??" asks the President
The driver replied: "Well ... the farmer gave me the wine, cigars and beautiful wife my son jumped on me and we made love passionately"
The President: "Jeez! But what did you say coming??"
The driver "... I said I'm the driver of Berlusconi and I just killed the pig!"

 

THE BANK
Berlusconi goes to a bank to cash a check:
Good morning, Miss, I changed this check please?
Gladly, Lord, I have a document?
Miss, I have no identity card, but .... look at me ... are the Head of Government!
I'm sorry, sir, but are the rules of our bank. I need a document that identifies it.
But lady, I have a lot of urgency, ask someone who they are.
Look, sir, can do so: long ago and came here with Yuri Chechi the same problem, but to show who he was, made a series of pirouettes free body with a few somersaults.
Roberto Baggio, dropped from here without a document, but had with him a football and a long series of rallies, with its famous punishment, inter alia, breaking some windows, showed who he was.
So she can do the same? Do anything to prove Silvio Berlusconi.
Berlusconi stops thinking for a while and finally says:
Mmm, miss, truth and now I can think of only bullshit.
Very well, Dr. Berlusconi, check the change in business 100?
  

 

HUGE QUEUE
There 's a huge queue on the motorway and the person behind the wheel of his car starts to get nervous.
At one point, impatiently, lowering the window and yells to another person who is approaching:
"What's happening?"
The other replied:
"Some terrorists took hostage Silvio Berlusconi and require 10 million ransom said otherwise it sprinkled with petrol and set fire. So we're doing a collection among all motorists to collect the necessary".
The person driving demand:
"And what you have collected so far?"
"About 5000 liters ...."

 

ACCIDENT 
Berlusconi goes to visit a school and joined a class in the middle of a debate on the meaning of words.
The teacher asks him if he wants to explain the meaning of the word "tragedy."
He accepts and asks one of the guys that make an example of a tragedy.
This stands up and says:
- If my best friend was playing in the street and a car it's investing, this would be a tragedy!
- No, - said Berlusconi - this would be an accident!
A girl raises her hand:
- If a bus with fifty children from falling over a cliff, killing everyone, this would be a tragedy?
- No, not this. - Says the Chairman of the Board - This would be a great loss!
The room remains silent.
No volunteer.
Berlusconi asks:
- There is nobody here who can give me an example of tragedy?
Finally a boy from the back of the room raises his hand and calmly says:
- If the presidential plane, carrying her and her family, was struck by a missile, killing all passengers, this would be a tragedy!
- Excellent! - Says Berlusconi - Right! And you could tell me why it would be a tragedy?
- Well ... because there would be an accident and not a big loss ...

 

THE MAID
The maid of Berlusconi trips. The Knight helps you to get up very politely.
She says:
- Knight, who kindly as I can thank you?
Berlusconi replied:
- In a few days we have elections ... could vote for me!
The woman replies:
- I banged my ass, not your head!

 

CAMPAIGN
Berlusconi campaign brings two distinguished guests:
Indian Prime Minister and the turkish.
After a bit 'notice to be lost.
Silvio took over the situation.
"I saw a farm where we will find a safe haven," he says.
Come and knock at the door.
"Who?".
"Berlusconi and we are lost! Host us for a night?".
"Gladly, but I only have two seats: one should go to sleep in the barn."
"No problem, I'll go, it offers the Indian minister.
After a little knock.
"Who?".
"I am the minister of India, there is a cow in the barn and I am not fit to sleep in the same place where he sleeps an animal considered sacred by my religion."
"No problem, I'll go," said the minister turkish.
After a little knock again
"Who?".
"I am the minister turkish, the barn is a pig and our religion forbids to be in the same place as an unclean animal."
"Okay, I'll go," Berlusconi comes forward.
After a few minutes and beats the door you are pressing.
"Who?".
"We are the cow and pig. .........". In the stable

 

THE LOVE  
Berlusconi's youngest daughter asks her father:
- Dad, what is love?
- Love? Love is for example to meet a rich man who takes you on a luxury hotel in Venice, that makes you take a gondola ride that takes you to eat at a nice restaurant in Piazza San Marco, you buy a Mercedes, you buy an apartment in Paris and a villa on the French Riviera, you buy a diamond necklace and gold rings, this is love.
- Dad! And where are the feelings, desire, the palpitations, the first date, first kiss??
- My daughter ... those are crap that have invented the Communists for trumpet free ... 

 

CAR RADIO
 A rich man buys a Fiat Stilo, the car's most innovative, luxurious and existing technologies.
 Pay a blunder, but the car is beautiful.
After a few kilometers, decides to turn on the radio ... but can not even find it. The dashboard, probably designed by NASA, contains thousands of devices of all kinds, but nothing that resembles a car.
Incazzatissmo, back from the dealer:
-I have sold a very expensive machine, a Concorde and the coast has not even the radio!
-The seller explains that the radio built into the navigation system, a sophisticated device uses voice recognition, so just say the type of music we want and she plays it.
The guy takes the car is a few meters and says:
- Blues!
Now the radio broadcasts a beautiful piece of B. B. King dodecaphony in Dolby stereo surround even at Madison Square Garden feels so.
After a bit 'decides to change his music:
- Rock!
And the radio switches to an exciting piece of Deep Purple.
After a few minutes try:
- Bach!
And immediately the second Brandenburg Concerto. Blessed by the music, it makes little attention to the road, a cyclist and almost reckless investing.
Incazzatissimo, says:
 - Asshole!
Now the radio:
- And now on Radio Radical, the word to Silvio Berlusconi

 

THE PARCEL
Silvio Berlusconi suspected of having heart problems, decides to take off their thinking to see a cardiologist known.
 At the end of fast cards, which are a gentleman, greeted one another without going into details such vulgar payment of fees.
This fact comes home to Berlusconi by mail later.
When you see the receipt Berlusconi remains disconcerted over 1000 Euros!
For a view of Euro 1000 just ten minutes is a lot of money for him!
Berlusconi diligently compiled a check and sends it to the teacher accompanying the sum with a few lines: "Dear Professor. The remit attached a check for 1,000 euros in payment of your bill as you requested. Allow me to point this out but, as an entrepreneur which that money is stolen "
The response of prof. does not hesitate: "Dear Mr Berlusconi, I acknowledge receipt of your check for 1,000 Euros. Regarding the origin of the sum do not worry: I'm not interested anyway and I will not do word to anyone!"
 

 

MUSLIMS   
George W. Bush and Silvio Berlusconi at a dinner at the White House.
One of the important guests, approaches them and asks what they were talking about:
- We are preparing the plan for World War III - Bush says.
- Wow! - Exclaimed the host. - What are the plans?
- We are going to kill 14 million Muslims and a dentist - Bush replied.
The host seems a bit confused.
- A ... Dentist? - He says - and why? Why kill a Dentist? -
Berlusconi to Bush a pat on the shoulder and says, - I told you? Nobody asks questions about Muslims!

 

ORATOR LOW
A politician is doing a very small rally when the but hie increasingly angry pubblicoma can not see who was and continues his speech.
Again we hear the same voice:
- A dwarf!
At this point the angry political rally and stop:
- I turn to that person who is offending me, reminding him that I have a son six feet tall!
- A dwarf bastard!

 

POPE NON COMMUNITY
Breaking news: While in his villa in Arcore, intent to hang a picture, the President Silvio Berlusconi has inadvertently given a hammer on the thumb. The gesture made him escape the exclamation, "For God .. '... den Madonna, God can.!
The thing is immediately leaked to reach the ears of the Holy Father who, outraged, it was promptly dismissed by declaring:
"Mr. Berlusconi should not afford! Go back to my parishioners in Poland". The fact he threw the mess all over the world of journalism and politics.
Rete 4 has just launched a service in defense of Knight: According to a survey, 99% of Italians, when hit with a hammer on the thumb, have the same reaction to Berlusconi.
Bruno Vespa, with a scoop surprise, managed to hold on 'Porta a Porta' owner of the company that manufactured the hammer;
Maurizio Costanzo replied with the owner of hardware store that sold the hammer. All sport has a full page entitled: 'Berlusconi is dismissing the Pope. Sacchi's successor? '.
RAI-3 has launched a special entitled: 'The Hammer: uses, techniques and applications'. Harsh reactions in the political world. Bertinotti said: "The maneuver Berlusconi is clear: he used the hammer, a known part of our symbol, to attack the Vatican and put the blame on the communists."
Ready replication Pisanu Forza Italy: "Really just wanted to attach a picture." Mr Walter Veltroni said that "with the gesture, the Holy Father has chosen to emphasize the independence of the Church by adverse events that may occur in housework."
The spokesman of the PRC, Cossutta, actually expresses all "contempt for Berlusconi, wanting to devote themselves to works that fall outside the scope of its powers, in addition to causing the dismissal of the Holy Father has taken the job to a worker, increasing the unemployment rate. "
The Northern League leader, Umberto Bossi, is beaming because he thinks "the Knight has sided with the League in the struggle for the independence of Padania: the contribution of an extra kick in it is the clearest proof."

 

RAI AND MEDIASET
A guy meets a friend who had not seen for a long time.
She sees him coming down from a flaming sports car, it is dressed with great elegance.
Hey - he says - You have made a fortune?
It '- replied the friend - I phoned the RAI and I said I knew everything about Garibaldi. They invited me to a broadcast of a quiz, I have many questions and won two billion.
After a few months and also our first guy starts to strut the latest fashions in clothes and run with a very expensive machine.
Ends he meets his friend and says: - You know, I really thank you. I followed your method and I promptly made a fortune too. - You have phoned to RAI? - No. I called Mediaset. I said I knew everything about Berlusconi and I immediately gave me two billion without even a question.

 

QUEEN ELIZABETH
Mr Berlusconi, on an official visit to England, was invited by Queen Elizabeth.
During the meeting, asked what is your philosophy of leadership and she replied that the answer is in being surrounded by intelligent people.
Now Berlusconi asks how do you know if they are smart.
- I understand by them the right questions - answered the Queen - Let me prove it.
The queen then call to Tony Blair and says:
- Mr. Prime Minister, please answer the following question: his mother has a child, and her father has a child and this child is neither her brother nor her sister. Who is it? Tony Blair answered:
- Of course I am!
- Fixed! Thank you and to resent Sir - says the Queen.
His Majesty attaches the phone and says:
- Mr. Berlusconi has understood?
- Sure. Thank you. I'll sure I like that!
Upon returning to Rome decided to test the President of the Chamber. He then come to the Quirinal Palace Pier Ferdinando Casini and asks:
- Listen, Pierfi, I was wondering if you could answer a question.
- Certainly, Mr. President, do you want to know?
- Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child and this child is neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it? Casini thinks for a bit embarrassed and then says:
- I can think better and then respond properly?
Casini Berlusconi agrees and leaves.
Just out of the Quirinal, Casini immediately organize a meeting with other Senators forzista which are racking their brains for several hours, but nobody can find the answer. At one point he decided to call Casini Buttiglione and explain the situation.
- Now hear the question:
your mother has a child, and your father has a child and this child is neither your brother or your sister. Who is it?
Buttiglione responds immediately:
- Of course I am! Race of morons!
Extremely lifted Casini runs to the Quirinal and the President says:
- President, I know the answer to your question! I know who it is! Buttiglione!
And Berlusconi replied in disgust:
- Wrong, is Tony Blair.

 

BERLUSCONI HORN

Berlusconi One day, walking on the estate of his villa in Arcore, sees the writing on the wall "SILVIO SEI A horn" performed with
 the urine.
Extremely angry, Emilio Faith calls and asks him to work to identify the culprit.
After days of grueling research, Faith goes to Berlusconi and very seriously says:
"Listen president are able to discover the thief got two pieces of news to give you a nasty and the other awful."
Berlusconi, a bit 'worried calls now the bad news, that the Faith replies:
"The urine test showed that it is his brother Paul!"
Berlusconi is completely destroyed then asked what could be the terrible news, and Faith:
"PRESIDENT, calligraphy and '...... FOR YOUR WIFE!"

 

THE ASS

Hi, my name's Anthony.
Milano2 live in a palace built by the Prime Minister.
Jobs in Milan, a company whose main shareholder is the President of the Council.
Insurance car with which I go to work is the President of the Council.
The assurance that manages my pension supplement is the President of the Council.
I stop every morning to buy the newspaper, which owns the Premier.
When I go to the bank, go to the President of the Council.
In the afternoon I leave work and go out shopping in a supermarket by the Prime
Within the supermarket buy products made by subsidiary companies by the Prime Minister.
In the evening if I decide to go to the movies, I go into a room of the circuit property of the Prime Minister
I watch a film produced and / or distributed by a company of the Prime Minister.
If I stay at home, often I watch the TV of the Prime Minister (where movies are constantly interrupted by commercials
also by the advertising of the Prime Minister).
Especially look at the results of matches, because I root for the team whose owner is the Chairman of the Board.
I do not watch TV when the President of the Council look at the RAI, whose leaders were appointed by the President of the Parliamentary Council was elected.
So I'm tired and a little surfing on the Internet, with the provider of the Prime Minister.
Of course, rightly, as in all democratic countries, including Italy is the President of the Council shall make the laws, which are then
approved by a parliament where the parliamentary majority is firmly in the hands of the Prime Minister.
Which obviously governs in my exclusive interest. THAT ASS .......

 

THE WINDS OF WAR WITH IRAQ......  
We came into possession of the correspondence between Berlusconi and Bush while blowing winds of war against Iraq.
****
Dear George,
it is in my costume I make a specific choice of field and I deployed your side. Got a new, great ally in the difficult war against terrorists of the IRA. Let me know when you start and what to bring.
Hello
Silvio B.
****
Dear Silvio,
thanks for your bid. Unfortunately, the IRA is not in its objectives:
Northern Ireland is too small and more than 2000 bombs just could not do it alone.
I have to dispose of 75,000!
Will be for next time.
George
****
Friend George
I'm sorry, I confused the names. It is here that I do everything myself: government, foreign, sports, justice, flowers, cooking ... I meant Iran!
For this important battle for freedom let me offer Army, Navy, Air Force and Police. In fact, I would start by them, also at the forefront. What do you think?
Silvio B.
****
Dear Silvio,
What is the story of Iran? The CIA, which reads all my letters before me, went on a rampage. He says that Iran is a goal so secret that I am aware only ones that really matter.
For I knew nothing about it! I thought we were about to attack Iraq.
I await an explanation.
George
****
Giorgino, Giorgetto, Giorgiuzzo,
forgive me yet. Iran, Iraq, or Iraq Irac, geography do not understand a shit. Attack what you want, I must just be your friend. If you do not want soldiers better. You know how the Italians hate to die in battle, they prefer to crash on the highway.
But I propose that even the most enthusiastic man to help convince the country:
Mike Bongiorno (soon I'll senator for life), Iva Zanicchi, Raimondo Vianello ...
Choose whoever you want.
Silvio B.
****
Dear Silvio
forget it. Unfortunately it myself understand much about geography. It is time that I try your country on the map and find nothing.
Maybe it is a bit 'vague (the ones we use to bomb), but their way about me. Well, who the fuck are you?
George
****
George
let your fill this gap. I have already done so to send (and while I was there also to all the American people) my book "Italy in my mind," with a great big map, the kind I used to Vespa.
You will find that we are not just pizza and mafia are now pizza, mafia and risotto Milanese.
PS: On the map you'll see roads, highways, bridges and beautiful that I have not yet completed. You are messed up:
Nobel Cirami, Nesta ...
Soon Silvio B.
****
Dear Silvio,
this is the last letter I write. The CIA asks me not to spend more time with you. He says we do not need anything, nor soldiers, nor encyclopedias or vacuum cleaners.
I'm sorry, because you were nice.
PS: Sorry for not having understood immediately where your important country.
You tried it in South America. I do not know why, but knowing I had this impression.
George

 

FAN  

In a very hot summer evening Emilio Fede dies and is located just outside of Paradise in front of St. Peter.
 The back wall and 'immense and all covered with clocks that mark several hours.
Intrigued, Emilio Faith asks St. Peter what are all those clocks.
"You see, dear Emile," says St. Peter, "these are not ordinary watches, are measures of lies. When a person is born it is assigned a clock with hands on twelve and each time he tells a lie the hands turn."
"And to whom and 'that clock?" asks Emilio Fede.
"And 'Mother Teresa of Calcutta," replied St. Peter "marks noon, means that Mother Teresa always told the truth."
"And to whom and 'that other clock that marks the two?"
"And 'Albert Schweitzer said that means only two lies in his entire life"
"And where 'clock Silvio Berlusconi?" asks Emilio garrulous?
"I do not find on this wall," replied St. Peter's grave "I put in my office. You know, I use it as a fan."